I had a dream
Another baby for our family
Fairly simple, you would think
I knew I was lucky
To have the one I was blessed with
But I wanted another
To fill my nest with
Quite early on
It was plain to see
That it might not happen
It became my life tragedy
But most people out there
Didn't get my pain
Meanwhile so many other women
Added children to their clan
I tried so many things
But nothing worked
Acupuncture and herbs
Fertility drugs - the works
Next we went through
The trials of the adoption process
Medical and police checks
And several interrogations
Adoption in this country
Doesn't happen much these days
It's an unlikely scenario
Our hopes could all be in vain
My daughter wants a sibling
And asks most weeks
For a sister or a brother
To play with in our street
Pregnant bellies
Are still hard to see
So are siblings playing together
And women with more kids than me
"Be grateful for the one you have"
I hear them say
Because somehow wanting two children
Is a form of shame
"Think of those
Who are worse off than you"
Well I know I am blessed
But I'm entitled to dreams too
3 comments:
I wrote a poem yesterday on my blog about SIF. It started off, "Dont tell me to be thankful, Dont you know I am?".
That is what I hate the most too. That and feeling like a failure every damn month...
Hi, Lynda. I'm Stacey, hubby and I are both 40 and we are TTC #2. After 4 years of infertility treatments, we were finally blessed with #1, my daughter Davie Ann, this past March. Because of my age, we're jumping back on the bandwagon as fast as possible. It's amazing to me how fast the baby fever came back, I really thought it'd be easier now that I've had one, but I long for our second just as much as our first. Thanks for sharing your story, it's so good to know we're not alone on this tough road.
Thank you so much for your blog. I have been ttc number two for over 5 years and I'm now 41. My beautiful happy child was born by an emergency caesarian which caused scarring that made me completely infertile. I've been on fertility drugs, had 2 major operations and failed at 4 attempts at IVF despite 'good results' . Physically, emotionally and financially this has devastated me and I feel that no one - not even my partner - gets how much pain I'm in - especially as my few friends in similar positions have had their happy endings and got their second child in the end. No one gets that it won't 'just happen naturally'. Another cycle of IVF isn't an option and my partner is adamant he doesn't want to adopt - after investing so much its incredibly hard to give up, but i don;t know what else I can do.
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