Focusing on other stuff

I have felt a lot better around my SIF lately. I've been reaching out a little more and that is helping. By reaching out I don't mean I've been spilling my SIF guts either. More like I've just been phoning friends, and catching up with friends in person. It really does help bring me out of my SIF isolation.

My SIF journey has shown me many things about myself. But one of the biggest lessons is how I tend to isolate and withdraw when I am in great emotional pain. So I'm a WIP around making regular contact with the people I care about.

After the gym last night I went and had a glass of wine with a fellow MOO friend. Her husband and daughter are away for the week on a father-daughter holiday. So it was lovely just to chat for a few hours about this and that. It was nice to talk about SIF in a general kind of a way too. It just one of many topics and not the overriding theme for the night, that's for sure.

I'm at the point where I don't know what my body is doing anymore. AF arrived a few days ago so it's my third cycle in a row except AF came on day 20. So I've effectively had three periods in two months. I'm looking forward to chatting to my herbalist on skype later today. As I discussed with my friend last night, my periods returning could mean several things: it could be good news or it might just be part of going into menopause. I have no idea whether I am ovulating or not.

I've given up trying to figure out what's going on. I will wait til I hear from the infertility specialist I was referred to for an appointment and who knows if he'll be able to shed some light on my situation. I haven't heard yet about the information sessions for prospective adoptive parents (which is our next step in the adoption process). It's meant to be sometime in March or April so not too far away hopefully.

In the meantime I've been thinking about the bigger picture more - as in, other family goals besides an addition to the family. Since we set the approximate cut-off date for adding to our family (two years from now) - it has helped free me up to concentrate on other things. Last year SIF was still very much my main focus as it took up a lot of my time and energy. Now I feel although SIF is still very much part of me, it isn't the only thing going on in my life.