What a strange time this SIF journey has been. I guess for so long it just didn't make sense to me - why the f**k I couldn't just have another damn baby! But patience and perservance with this path that has had me in the dark for quite some time is perhaps beginning to pay off.
I believe it is God's Will that I increase my work hours right now. It's necessary - but also timely. And I can't help but think, well we aren't obviously going to be blessed with another baby in the near future if entering the workforce in a "proper" job is on the cards for me. But baby number two could be on the cards in the not-so-distant future.
Perhaps I've known all along and didn't want to face the fact that our finances, work-life balance and some TLC on the marriage front were necessary before bringing another child into our lives.
It feels healthier this way. Essentially we are shuffling things around so that with the help of a respite carer or nanny, I can work more and will be at home more when my husband is - in the evenings and that I won't be working so much in the weekends.
My dream of being at home with a second child while my first was at Kindy feels like it belongs in the past somewhere. It was a lost dream. Clearly not my path. Yet, with the information evening coming up for adoption next week I am still hopeful and excited that an addition to our family is a possibility. We will be scrutinised anyway in the application process so best we get our shit sorted out now!
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