Today we finally got to go to the Preparation and Education Programme for adoption in New Zealand.
It was a great day. There were seven couples - some had been on the previous Information Meeting back in April - but many we hadn't met before. The majority had travelled from other provincial towns in Malborough and Tasman.
We watched loads of videos all filmed in New Zealand around six/seven years ago (apparently). Clips about closed adoptions and how painful that was for the birth mothers, the adoptive families and the adopted children. There were also clips about adoptive adults who had found their birth families.
There was a "panel" of local adoptive parents too which was very interesting. Great insights into open adoptions that had occurred in recent years. One birth Mum was there too to share her side of the story.
At the beginning of the session we all introduced ourselves by name and by occupation. I "outted" myself as a stay-at-home Mum to a four and a half year old. I didn't want to pretend we weren't parents already though at the beginning my reveal did feel a little uncomfortable.
We got into groups and discussed possible adoption scenarios in the future and talked a lot about loss - for the adoptive parents, the birth parents and the adopted child.
My head is a a-spinning right now as we were there from 9 - 4.30pm. The next session (Part II) is in three weeks. Which is a good thing, I think. It was quite a lot to take in. I think it will be good to have a few weeks to digest everything.
Tonight my husband and I have our date night which will be good - it will be nice to go for a bit of a walk and get some fresh air and maybe a bite to eat somewhere local.
When I write my book about SIF I am going to have to have a chapter called: People Say The Darnest Things (!) as yesterday I was absolutely flabbergasted by my Mum's neighbours "offer". Short story: she came round to tell me her daughter was in labour and then asked me how our adoption plans were going. Which to begin with is bizarre as I don't have a relationship with her and frankly I think our adoption plans are none of her business! Her daughter obviously filled her in...Anyway, she proceeded to tell me that she might be pregnant and didn't want the child as her three kids are fully-grown (she's 47 and had her kids young) and asked me if I wanted her child!! WTF??!! I was speechless!! She asked me how that would work and I said it would have to go through social workers etc but really, if she is pregnant, it would obviously not be so good for the neighbours of her daughter to be raising her child! Not right in so many ways!!
I had to laugh at that one. I mean it's one thing for a friend to comment that my daughter must want a brother or sister to her face because she's pretending to cry like a baby - but another for an almost stranger to ask me if I'd like to raise her baby?!
Today I feel like we are moving somewhere on this baby quest - going on this programme today obviously helped. And to meet real life adoptive parents certainly helps. It could be us one day - you never know.
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