Emotional pain is a personal thing

Even though I feel as though I have my life in perspective and can see SIF as part of the bigger picture, I will never trivalise the experience. No one gets through life without experiencing emotional pain of some sort. And we cannot judge each other by what we each go through. If you look around there will always be someone worse off than yourself.

I'm sure I could list a hundred examples of things that may seem "worse" than SIF. But I am not going to do the comparing game. I think we are all given challenges in our lifetimes and for me SIF has been a major life-changing crisis to face.

We're all different and cope with things in different ways. SIF caused me to fall apart yet that may not be the consequence for every SI. Infidelity was another personal tragedy that was life-changing for me on an emotional level many years ago. It effectively changed my life on many levels once I worked through all the layers that flared up.

I saw a documentary about Britney Spears last night: For the record. It would be easy to trivalise her pain at feeling trapped in the world of show business. Yet it's her pain and it's real for her. Take away the fame and the money and she is simply a young woman who opened up about the personal challenges that come with her lifestyle. I admire her for doing so though I'm sure the point may be lost on some.

I am still determined to write a book about SIF from a personal perspective. This is what God sent my way to experience. I cannot identity deeply with every single possible tragedy out there. But SIF was my tragedy. It has made me stronger, caused me to look at myself and my life more deeply and has given me a new empathy for those enduring long-term emotional pain, particularly centred around loss.

I lost a piece of myself with SIF and am finally feeling as though I am finding me again. I think many of the tragedies we as humans face, whatever they are, have the potential to tear us apart. We're all the same in the end. Pain, loss, change and the unexpected come our way when we least expect it. These times are inevitably opportunites for growth and by sharing our stories and not minimising them, we are able to heal while educating others.