Three weeks ago my husband and I attended the first day of the Education and Preparation Programme for adoption in New Zealand. Today we attended the second day of the programme. The last session was focused around open adoption - what that means, how it works etc etc. Today the focus was more on issues the adopted child will face in his or her lifetime, attachment and adopting from another culture. We met three adult adopted children who had all experienced closed adoptions so it was interesting hearing their stories. We were all encouraged to think about open adoption and how we'd set up visits with the birth families.
The placement process was explained a little further - just how fast that happens. Basically in New Zealand you don't get "the call" that you have been picked until the baby has arrived. Then you have a week or maybe ten days to get everything sorted - lawyers, meetings with the birth family, and creating a contact plan with the birth family - it is full on! In New Zealand by law the baby cannot be passed over to the adoptive parents until the baby is twelve days old.
It was suggested today that we have a written plan for how to handle that intense period of time between when you get picked and the birth parents sign the legal papers that say the child is now legally yours. It sounds like an incredibly emotionally turbulent time!
My husband and I found out today who our social worker is. The next step is to phone her up to make an appointment to talk about the process thus far with her and where we're at. After that there is more form-filling to be done followed by some assessment interviews (two to four) - including one in our own home. I plan to phone the social worker next week to keep the wheels turning. Apparently it takes about three months to go through the assessments so I am thinking we'll be through the whole adoption process in the first quarter of next year - hopefully within the next six months, all going well.
The same seven couples were there as last time. All had travelled to Nelson except one other couple (and us) and I got their number. Will be nice to keep in touch with others going through the process.
It was on the tip of my tongue to mention my new infertility support group at the course today but it didn't quite feel like the right timing. But I was rapt to get home and find a message on our answering machine about the group! I will return the call asap this weekend. I was really pleased to see the first community notice in the local community paper this week too. It feels like this infertility support group might actually get off the ground!
All in all I've had a good day. It was tiring, once again, being on the adoption course and taking in so much information. But it's exciting, we're moving forward in the process - and it's still very much a case of well-you-never-know (it might just work out!)
Tonight we went to a disco at my daughter's Kindy. It was loads of fun. It felt good to be in a good space - to enjoy it midst all the MOTs and the younger siblings. It was nice to feel free and to have a bit of a dance. It is always good to have peace and hope in my heart - long may it last (as in longer than a day or two!)
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