My new club

I have essentially entered a new club that I'm not sure I want to be part of.

Today I took my daughter to the beach and she ended up playing with a four and a half year old boy. I chatted away with the boy's Mum while our kids threw muddy sand at each other in the waves.

Then, "Is this your only one?"
"Yes. You, your only one?"
"Yes. Do you want another one?"
"Yes. One day. I hope so."
"Same here. Hopefully one day..."
And we smiled knowingly. Two Mums on the beach on a windy afternoon who for a moment knew exactly what heart-ache the other one had been through without uttering a word.

A couple of weeks ago, I was chatting with the manager of a local baby store. She said she'd been to the Christmas Parade a week before.
"With your kids?" I stupidly said.
Silence. Seconds passed and the look on her face said it all.
"Um, no. I, hopefully one day...well, there are so many kids out there that need homes in the world, we might adopt..."
I don't even know what my response was. I really had wished I could take it all back. Silly me, I had seen a woman probably in her early thirties working in a baby shop who had been to a Christmas Parade and I assumed she was a Mum. Obviously she had no idea that the Mum standing in front of her with her preschooler was battling similar issues. I should have known better.

There are a few of us out there but the thing is, infertility is so taboo, that it is so easy to think we're the only ones going through it. That ought to change. It isn't something women should be ashamed about. Holding our hurt inwards only makes things worse. I hope as part of my journey with all this I can inspire more openness from those afflicted with infertility and more compassion and understanding out there from those on the outside.