At crossroads

I don't know what to think about the whole TTC deal anymore (when applied to me). Here I've been feeling like it was really well and truly over then I did some "research" on the Net and discovered examples of women who managed to conceive with high FSH levels and/or a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure. I even found one woman who was the same age (39) who had a FSH of 86 just like me who was pregnant.

I dunno what to believe, what to think. I don't want this to be the end. I want another biological child so badly. I don't want to let go of the dream. Yet am I fooling myself believing it could still happen? My latest progesterone results came in the mail confirming I didn't ovulate after round three of Clomid and my progesterone levels are still at two. Every time I get more negative news around my fertility; it is like another nail in the coffin.

Medically things are looking bad. Yet is it really the end? Do I have another shot at motherhood, even if it is a very small chance?

I don't know where God wants me to go from here. Do I take the medical diagnosis as gospel and move on from here or do I go with my overwhelming desire to have another child and hope like hell that a small miracle happens? I have some praying to do, as I'm really not sure which way to go at this point.