Would I go back?

I never had a clear-cut diagnosis in the end with SIF. It was me who decided to quit since my body had clearly given up the ghost on the TTC front. My half-diagnosis of ovarian failure is what I've accepted as my reason for my infertility.

Sometimes I do wonder if there was/is something else wrong with my body. Perhaps a hormonal imbalance that could have been restored. One kind member of Dailystrength shared her story with me recently which was the same in a lot of ways to mine yet another reason for her infertility was discovered and she went on to conceive.

In my heart I don't feel there was/is anywhere else for me to go infertility-wise. I have been listening to the God of my understanding and I truly did reach the end of the TTC road. The thing is I tried so many approaches/theories around my wonky cycles for two years and no one got it right.

I don't think I could go back into the TTC game again. I have felt much better all in all since moving on; even though I still have some remnants of two years of SIF still hovering around. I have noticed little shifts here and there.

Today when I visited a MOTH friend and I was able to console her fourteen month old when she was distraught. I just took it for what it was - a small child seeking comfort. I didn't feel quite as envious as I sometimes do or on the brink of tears at the sight of siblings playing together. I feel I am exactly where I'm meant to be in my life. It wasn't where I'd hoped to be but it's getting easier to accept my fate as time passes.