This morning I'm picking up a close friend from the airport who's come over from Australia to celebrate my 40th. I can't wait as I haven't seen her for two and a half years! Tomorrow another two friends arrive from out of town and then tomorrow night is my Girls Night Out - there are 24 of us going out and everyone is looking forward to it! On Saturday I have 14 adults, and two kids coming for brunch (including our wee family).
Focusing on my birthday celebrations has been very positive. It has injected some excitement and enthusiam into my little world that has been polluted by SIF for what feels like so long. Planning a few events has helped draw me out of myself and to be the fun person that I can be who genuinely enjoys life and sharing a good time with those I love.
It's a week since I finished my last round of Provera and still no AF. So I will phone my Dr next week after all the celebrations are over to see what happens next. Not sure I want to take Provera again, to be honest. I've felt much better since coming off it; I really don't think it has helped me much at all as far as mood swings go.
I have been thinking of my close friend who is a brand-new MOT. As I drove back from the gym last night I asked myself if I was jealous of her. Well yes, of course I am - but I'm not torn apart. Would I want to swap places with her? Maybe. Yet at the same time I do have a great life and I'm starting to embrace it again. I just don't want to be dominated by grief for another baby anymore. There is life beyond the confines of SIF. I'm just starting to really feel and believe that again.
2 comments:
I guess the good news is that you were able to celebrate your birthday without Aunt Flo!! Hope your Girls night out is a blast! I'm sure it will be -
Hope you have a wonderful time at your parties! you deserve it!
Nancy A (311)
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