Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Feeling okay

I took my daughter to Playgroup today and was faced with the usual mix of babies and bumps. What is it about babies that is so irresistible? I certainly didn't think all babies were cute before motherhood but now the sight of any baby seems to start my biological clock ticking. Since I have had and continue to have the pleasure of being a mother, it is hard to not look at other Mums with their babies or growing bumps and to not be reminded of the intensity of early motherhood. It is a bond like nothing I've ever experienced. I suppose that is why it is difficult for me at times to watch others getting another chance to experience motherhood. My daughter turns three next week and her baby days are long gone. She is no longer a toddler either. She is definitely in the preschool zone.

But I feel okay. I feel I am doing all I can around TTC. It's in Gods hands. I do trust God with the outcome too as the further I get into this waiting game, the more that is revealed behind my previous desperate desire to have another child. I'm not desperate now, but still looking forward to the day I get an answer or a conclusion of some sort.

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