I have been quite anxious about my upcoming surgery. Although I'm still quite anxious, I just want to get it over and done with now. At least this time next week I'll be on the other side of the op and in recovery mode.
I met up with a MOT friend today at our local playground and then we had an early lunch together at our local cafe. She had to take her eldest daughter to the bathroom a couple of times so I looked after her youngest daughter. It was interesting playing MOT for a few minutes. I've always known of course what a stretch it must be at times to manage two children (or more), and I certainly know this from my nanny days. Yet today I felt I had a real appreciation of how difficult it must be attending to two children's needs of differing ages, 24/7. It's much nicer being in a place of empathy rather than resentment. Also, this MOT friend was quite supportive about my surgery. I guess by sharing my vulnerability around it with friends, many of whom are MOTs, I can step out of that green-eyed monster way of being for a bit.
I had a search in the Nelson library yesterday to see if there were any books about secondary infertility. There were none and only about half a dozen books on infertility. But I got one out: The Infertility Survival Guide by Judith C. Daniluk. It's described as "everything you need to know to cope with the challenges while maintaining your sanity, dignity, and relationships." Well amen to that! I got it out more for curiosity than anything. I wondered what content a book about IF might have in it. But some of it probably is quite useful to my cause. I will share more if and when I think it's worthwhile information to pass on.
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