Back on Provera

I phoned my Dr yesterday to see what she thought since the last round of Provera (5mg) was ineffective in that I never got a period. She decided to put me on Provera again and has doubled the dosage - I'm on 10mg this time for a week. If AF doesn't arrive, she said she'll have to make contact with my gyno for his opinion. She tried to offer Clomid in my system as being the reason why my FSH levels were so high at 87 last round of bloods. But I said actually I didn't start on Clomid til the evening of my day two FSH blood test, which was taken in the morning. She then said she'd talked to colleagues and it was believed that Clomid stays in your system for a while, possibly affecting FSH levels. I then said I actually hadn't been on Clomid for a few months before the blood tests to which I got a oh.

It seems my Dr still cannot accept my half-diagnosis of ovarian failure/premature menopause. I have and I am wondering if it is reversible. Can I really change it? I really don't know. The hot flashes and night sweats continue and my energy levels have dipped considerably the last few days. As my energy crashes; so does my mood. I have to just go to bed early and work really hard at being positive if I don't want to be taken down.

I'm looking forward to my Tuesday appointment with the "healer lady" to see what she picks up on this time. After having some of my old friends in town/ a great 40th; this week has been kind of flat. I do miss going out and having some girl time. I have been doing that over the last few months but perhaps not enough. I don't mean going out and painting the town red - just a simple cup of tea and a chat would suffice. I'm going to see Mamma Mia! for the second time this afternoon with a friend and her daughter so that'll be fun. My mother bought me the soundtrack as part of my birthday present and I've played it just about every day. My three year old often requests that I put ABBA on and asks for Honey, Honey and Super Trooper.

I truly hope this is the last time I'm on Provera. I really want to move on from the medical world around all this yet at the same time need the medical perspective so I can start addressing this hormonal imbalance of mine.