Sunday, February 3, 2008

Afraid of raising a spoilt brat

I've just had a very challenging day of parenting with our almost three year old. Even though there were two of us at home, we were both pushed to our limits. I know it's her age and all that but quite frankly, our daughter is a handful at this stage.

We started the day off with good intentions - we strolled down to church, with our daughter singing contently in her buggy. The first ten minutes of the service were okay. She was occupied with her colouring-in book while the notices were read. Then the singing started and she decided to dance in the aisles, getting increasingly disruptive as the seconds passed. So I took her into creche where there are of course toys to amuse preschoolers. After a few minutes of scrapping with two other preschoolers over the farm animals; she fled the creche and went and sat next to her daddy in the church. So he came out with her and I went back in to hear the part of the minister's prayer that was about praying for the families in church who were struggling with discipline with their children. At this point our daughter was shrieking loudly in the background and then came racing into church, tugging at my arm.

This carry-on lasted for a while at which point my husband and I thought we may as well leave church. However eventually I managed to sit down and hear most of the sermon as I seated myself strategically between the hall and the creche.

We left church feeling more harassed than uplifted.

Next we went home and I cooked us scrambled eggs on toast for lunch. "Yucky eggs" was my daughter's response and she refused to join us.

So my daughter and I went and had a nap only to be woken after an hour by my husband to say he was going to the hardware store. At this my daughter lost it and remained in a foul mood for the rest of the afternoon.

4pmish our friends turned up for a BBQ. They are friends from our antenatal class and we've been doing babysitting swaps for almost a year and a half. Our daughters usually play quite well, though there is usually a least one fight involving toys. Tonight was the worst the two of them have ever been together. There was no sharing, just screaming, crying, pushing, hair-pulling, and head-bashing. The only time adult conversation happened was when the DVD was on. In the last ten minutes the girls decided they were friends afterall and had turns shooting hoops, which was a little too late for four exasperated parents.

As our daughter is in the process of dropping naps, any nap means she won't go down til after nine. This was one of those nights.

The Mum around tonight shared with me how she wants to get on to TTC for number two because of the symptoms of the-one-child-family her daughter is exhibiting. We both agreed that as our daughter's don't have siblings to fight with and to test the water socially with; there is some undesirable bratty behaviour emerging.

My daughter's other playmate has a younger sister and yes, they have the same kind of wars together. Yet since she has a little sister she will already be learning so much socially, even if it's not obvious at this point in time.

Our daughter has a roomful of toys that she's reluctant to share on most playdates these days. I don't want to raise a spoilt brat but it feels as though that's the way we are heading at this point. We are going to have to work harder and be more creative with our parenting techniques to override this one. I know kids can be spoilt with other siblings in the mix, but another sibling is the best way I can think of for teaching a child that they are not the centre of the universe. I am angry today that this might not happen for us.

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