(Why don't you just) have another one!

Playgroup was a challenge again today. However, I'm really trying hard to pull my daughter up on any inappropriate behaviour and to do the old positive reinforcement with her good behaviour. Also we're going to Playgroup first thing in the morning - at 9am and today left at 10.30am when it's typically at it's busiest. The main "teacher" at Playgroup offered a lot of support today and gently suggested considering the help of Child Development Services. (CDS). She commented that I was one of the more on-to-it parents there (but not meant as a put-down towards other parents) and that's why she could see I was obviously struggling right now. Although I trust her experience, perspective and insight, the idea brought me to tears for a number of reasons.

Firstly, no parent wants to hear that there may be something "wrong" with their child, secondly her kindness and concern moved me and finally, I could not help but wonder if it's somehow my fault. Have I missed some vital developmental/emotional clues that things aren't "right" because of my secondary infertility ordeal? Or is it because of my secondary infertility struggle, that my daughter is "acting out"?

My husband and I have decided to keep an open mind and will see where things go from here. The teacher at Playgroup phoned CDS today on my behalf plus the woman will be coming into Playgroup in the next few weeks. We've known all along that our daughter has come under the "high needs" umbrella and although intelligent, she has always been a little behind in her development socially.

I have a degree in Psychology and Education (Hons), have worked with children with emotional and behavioural problems, and was a nanny for a boy with Asperger Syndrome. I guess all along I've accepted my daughter for who she is and where she's at but the older she gets, the more obvious it is that she may be "developmentally delayed" (what a dreadful term). Perhaps we've been in denial around this. Not sure. Yet I do appreciate when it's your own child, it is so very hard to be objective.

The teacher at Playgroup suggested "shadowing" our daughter when around other kids which is what we've been doing. It is extremely exhausting anticipating her every move ie: intervening when it looks as though she's about to push another kid over. I've been thinking of introducing sticker charts and she suggested that also.

One of the Mums at Playgroup today (a Mum of one), commented in passing, obviously after observing what was going on:
"Are you having problems with her?"
"Yes, big problems" I said
"Have another one!" she half-joked to which I replied
"That's half the problem - we can't right now."

I had to run off after my daughter so never caught her reaction. She's a lovely Mum; I didn't mean to be a bit prickly but that just says it all doesn't it - it has been implied a lot lately that my daughter's difficulties could be lessened with another sibling. I guess it just both hurts and annoys me that this is being pointed out.