My new job

I got the job at the pottery/ceramics gallery and cafe as a "gallery assistant". I'm basically going to work three Sundays of every month which suits us well family-wise. Today I worked 10am - 4.30pm and it was a long day in some respects and in other ways not so long. Although I have a bit to learn about pottery/ceramics in general, I don't think it'll be an overly stressful job which suits where I'm at right now.

I've been frequenting the cafe for over a year now so it was wierd to take a step back today and think "Wow- I'm working here!" It was never planned yet it all fell into place; me working there. It was definitely meant to be. I do believe when things "flow" in life, that I am in sync with the God of my understanding. Which makes me think that my secondary infertility deal is all part of Gods plan too. As in the part where I'm not meant to be pregnant right now. Or even in the near future, it would seem, given that I've just got a job and joined a gym and made the kind of commitments a non-pregnant woman would make.

For whatever reasons; I'm meant to be exactly where I'm at around my fertility right now. I really felt this quite strongly today when I overheard a customer discussing her pregnancy while I dusted the pottery! I am quite skeptical about the Provera and Clomid. But at the same time think that this is all Gods will too, that I continue TTC for now. I'm on Day 27 of my cycle so will wait once again to see if I get a decent bleed - if not, let the games begin.

I've certainly felt busy over the past week or two with my new job as well as a bit of freelance graphic design work I have on the go right now. It's been good having some positive things to to focus on.

Last night my Mum and I went to Opera In The Park with our own (as in born-in-New-Zealand) Dame Kiri Te Kanawa. It was amazing. We were in the picnic area and brought some mini-bottles of champagne and wine and nibbles to eat while listening to some world-class acts.

I have been making a real effort to get out there and do things. Despite my mood swings, I do still have a sense of fun. However a couple of family members have indirectly commented about how low I've been lately. That's the thing, when you are struggling you don't want to seem like you are struggling but when you are an open book like myself; it is impossible to hide how you really feel.

I just want to be real but at the same time, happy! I think I'm getting there.

My husband and I have talked a bit about the dramas of last week with our daughter. He thinks a mountain has been made out of a mole-hill a little. I agree in part and we've only disclosed where things are at with our daughter on this blog and with a couple of parents that have frequent interaction with our daughter. We've decided to limit her time around other children but not to change the frequency of her social interactions. She has had ongoing sleep issues since forever and no doubt is overtired many times during the week. She certainly gets overexcited at times and that's when the trouble often starts. We're going to give the sticker charts a go too.

I do think the teacher at Playgroup judged the situation in the only way she could - in that particular context. And although we're open to whatever help comes from here, we don't think our daughter's behaviour of late needs to be blown out of proportion.

Saturday morning I took my daughter to a cafe in town after feeding the ducks and observed two brothers having several squabbles in the kids corner. They were exhibiting many of the behaviours our daughter has been between the two of them yet, sibling rivalry is deemed normal. She has to learn how to act somewhere, somehow. So in lots of ways I think she's right where she should be developmentally.