Green light for Clomid & I'm not doing cartwells

I phoned my gyno surgery today and spoke to the receptionist. Apparently there is a letter from my gyno in the mail - should get it in the next few days. She read it out and basically my gyno doesn't think the cyst is an issue, even after viewing the radiologist notes, so I am to go ahead and do as instructed previously. I'm day 17 on my cycle and will wait to see if AF comes this month, and if not, will start the Provera at the end of the month, and then Clomid after that. The receptionist reckoned I hadn't informed them I'd changed Dr's and hence the mix-up. Hmmm, not sure about that.

I should be pleased with this news that I have been given the green light to start things going but the truth is there is a whole heap of stuff going on with me right now. I am going to start looking into counselors this afternoon. I feel like a mess today and realise I've been slowly addressing my physical, spiritual, and emotional needs with joining the gym, committing to church a bit more and now considering counseling. I recognised a few months ago that it was going to take a little while to sort through the crap and why I made a three month goal which includes the aforementioned.

Today at Playgroup my daughter was a menace. I've never had to leave early before but today I did as she was on a hitting and shoving rampage and wasn't about to stop. I was on morning tea too and had to abandon ship. I know she's going through a challenging phase but I just had to wonder today if my continual angst has contributed. I owe it to my wee family to be as well as possible and that's why I'm trying my best to get myself sorted out.

Today when bump-Mums were talking about their pregnancies at Playgroup I did feel a little triggered but at the same time was haunted by the thought of What if it isn't even about this? What if my unsettled state of the last few months is about something else? This was before I'd heard I'd been given the go-ahead with the Clomid.

That's why I need to get me a counselor.