Serendipity

I've just discovered that friend no.1's due date for her 2nd child is a day out from the due date of our baby that didn't make it (I had a chemical pregnancy in Dec '06), exactly a year later. Uncanny - in a way. Yet friend no. 1 and I have had many parallels in our lives so it's not a huge surprise. I don't feel sad for me, actually. More relieved in a sense that that date now represents something positive and tangible other than what never came to be. Somehow it helps in the sense that life goes on - for other people, and for myself. I think it's a case of serendipity in action, in a strange kind of a way.

Now I've joined the gym I feel as though my life is moving somewhere which is a welcome change from feeling as though my life was at one big standstill. I'm still looking for a part-time weekend job; applying for the odd job but no bites yet. That's kind of unusual for me as I usually fall into jobs relatively easily.

Looking for work as a Mum is a bit of a challenge. Especially one who is TTC. My last job was at the local paper where I had worked pre-motherhood and as a freelancer over the last few months I have essentially been my own boss. I would never reveal that I'm TTC of course but I do wonder if that is picked up in my demeanour sometimes. Especially the other day when I dropped off a CV at a woman's fashion store in the mall. With my daughter on one hip, I rummaged through my bag to find my CV. I had no choice but to bring her if I wanted to apply for that particular position. The shop assistant's eyes said it all when I handed her my CV "Oh god she's a mother!" I have a feeling if I make it to interview stage with any of these positions I may be asked if I'm going to have any more children which is considered a form of discrimination in this country. I definitely don't have an answer for that hairy question.

It seems the last few months have been one huge waiting game around so many things. But now it feels as though things are starting to fall into place, albeit slowly. Like the old Rachel Hunter shampoo ad catch-phrase that used to be on tv here in NZ in the eighties: "It won't happen over night, but it will happen."