Monday, February 11, 2008

She'd be such a great big sister

Today on my daughter's weekly playdate with our neighbours she was her usual rough-as-guts self with her friend, even though she clearly adores her. Yet at the same time I witnessed one of the most nurturing acts I've ever seen her do.

Now my daughter has never really been one for dolls. While her peers can't seem to get enough of the dolls we have here, our daughter pretty much ignores them. On a recent family holiday Barbie was on sale in a supermarket and I asked her if she'd like one. The clear response was "Barbie back!!"

These days I get requests to draw our whole family and then I am asked to draw her friend's Mum, her friend and the baby. Today in a tender moment my daughter picked up a baby blanket and gently wrapped it around the five-month old baby. It broke my heart as it did my neighbour's who broke the silence by saying "She'd be such a great big sister."

Even though I've been trying my best to give my daughter as much attention as possible, most afternoons she asks for her little friend down the road. I believe she is moving past the era of playgroup and parallel play which explains why when her friend isn't there (as my daughter goes twice a week, her friend once a week), she mooches around, often getting frustrated with her younger peers who aren't playing with her. This is my take on things but mothers intuition tells me I'm probably right. Even though children with siblings also will miss their friends, it is painfully obvious at this time that our daughter is missing the regularity of a permanent playmate i.e: a sibling. I guess the older she gets, the more this will stand out.

I also think her recent "bullying" although natural for her age group is a consequence of not having a sibling to push around as such! She has to learn somewhere what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behaviour and she's practising this stuff big-time out there right now.

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