Pure exhausation

I just seem to be so tired all the time. I am physically fit from going to the gym but don't seem to be getting the energy boost I normally do when I exercise. After a simple walk with my daughter yesterday I was practically falling asleep on the couch afterwards - at lunchtime. I miss that feeling of feeling fresh first thing in the morning. I get up and just feel so shattered. I just constantly feel like I need a long stint on a tropical island!

The anti-depressants are a short-term thing I'd say. I really need to get my hormones in balance in the long-term. I feel my Dr addressed my mood swings/depression by prescribing anti-depressants but that my actual hormonal imbalance was over-looked. I had to ask for the progesterone cream - which I haven't started using yet. I'm day three on the anti-depressants. I've had some head-aches, a bit of nausea and a slightly upset stomach.

I've booked a night away for our wee family next Saturday at a local campground that is located next to the Abel Tasman (a national park). The campground has some farm animals on it. We're booked in a cabin. It's an hours drive away. I just thought we probably all needed a change of scene as we haven't been away as a family since last December.

Tomorrow night my husband and I are going out for dinner! That's something else that we haven't done for a very long time. Our neighbours very kindly gave us a voucher for a great restaurant up the road as a thanks for the time my husband spent fixing their computer. One of them is going to baby-sit our daughter too which is great. I said to our neighbour we should do baby-sitting exchanges as they have three children aged six, nine and eleven years old.

I slowly feel like I'm putting energy back into family life. Having outings and little trips away to look forward to is good.

Yesterday I was on "parent help" at my daughter's Kindy. It's a voluntary thing - I'm on about once a month. It just involves cutting up fruit for afternoon tea, clearing out the dish-washer, doing a bit of dusting and stacking the dish-washer after afternoon tea. My daughter didn't really want me there at first! She clearly enjoys her space. But after a while she just came trotting up every now and then to see what I was doing.

A MOF-to-be really ruffled my feathers. She practically told me how to cut up the fruit - which is a very simplistic task of course. I definitely had a wave of resentment come over me as she told me what to do in what felt like a condenscing way with her bump sticking out in front of her. She has that air about her that she's has three children, has been through Playgroup/Kindy and now has a child at school - so she knows best. I am not imaging it just because I am a somewhat bitter SI, I swear!

It's now school holidays so no Kindy for two weeks. I am going to have organise quite a few playdates to keep my daughter busy/happy. That means contacting a few MOTs here and there. I still cannot handle too much exposure to MOTs so I will have to make sure I don't overdo the playdates. God I sound like such a bitter and worn-out woman! I just feel weighed down by SIF right now. I pray I will be relieved of the load sometime soon.