Disrupted sleep

One of my favourite things in life is sleep. I love a good nights sleep, sleep-ins, naps, and even just early nights snuggled up in bed with a book. Before motherhood that was! ;)

My daughter still doesn't sleep through the night at three and a quarter years old and I do often wonder how I would possibly cope with a baby in the mix. She slept through the night at five weeks (and I smugly thought we had it all well and truly sussed!), then started teething at four months and has been an unsettled sleeper ever since! Some nights are worse than others. The last two nights have been bad ones. I may take her to the Dr if we have another night of this as this has been a little more than just waking - she was in some kind of discomfort and has been writhing around, crying a little even with me in bed with her. As a result it was well past one a.m before I got any sleep last night and about the same the night before.

I cannot stand the sleepless nights! Not now. When my daughter was a baby and it was about getting up for breastfeeds I used to cherish that special Mother- daughter quiet time. I loved cradling her in my arms as she suckled away in the dead of the night as we shared an unspoken bond.

But not now. There is nothing cute anymore about getting woken up several times during the night! Of course if my daughter is genuinely sick I do want to be there for her. But most of the time she's just a grumpy sleeper who craves skin contact when she sleeps. So yes, it is kind of like musical beds around here with me often starting the night in our bed down the hall and then ending up in our daughter's bed at some point.

This all started because for many months I got up every two hours (or more) to our daughter when she was a baby, got her back to sleep, then would make my way make to bed only to be woken up again shortly afterwards. I was a walking zombie and suffered from severe sleep deprivation for many months. While looking for alternatives to sleep issues other than the crying-out method, I stumbled across Dr Sears whose co-sleeping suggestions I agree with - just do whatever works! So I have been doing that ever since. And whatever works has been sharing a bed with my daughter for some, if not the whole night. It's not perfect but it's where we're at for now.

I've tried putting a mattress on the floor next to her bed to start weaning myself out of her bed. That partially works. But for Winter here in New Zealand I will just keep doing what we are doing, as crazy as it seems at times.

So all this said I wondered during the small hours of the night last night (once again) how I could possibly get up to a baby as well as a preschooler. I am a wreck some days following a night like last night. All I want is some space after a night of hair-pulling and being kicked in the guts as my daughter tosses and turns. I also cannot imagine the intensity of a baby's needs and a preschoolers after a night of little sleep. Could I really do it? Today is one of those mornings post crap-sleep that I'm thinking I couldn't.

A MOTH friend of mine claims she gets up on average six times a night to her preschooler and baby. (her school-aged child sleeps through). I guess you just get on with it and do it - you have no choice, afterall. Of course it's not even something I should be worrying about at this point. I shall just look forward to the fact that one day my daughter's sleep patterns will improve and cherish the fact that for now some nights are better than others.