Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Fertility and the mind-body connection

I got a book out of the library a few weeks back: The Fertility Solution. A revolutionary mind-body process to help you conceive. by Niriavi B. Payne & Brenda Lane Richardson. Last night I read a few chapters that seemed applicable to my case: (Chapter 7) Menstrual and Ovulation Irregularities: The emotional connection, (Chapter 9) Secondary Reproductive Difficulties:"Why can't I give my child a sister or a brother?" and (Chapter 2) Who Says I Am Too Old? : Good news on the fertility front and how baby boomers are breaking through maternal age barriers.

I haven't read the whole book but the crux seems to be about sorting out any emotional blocks that may be affecting fertility - these are to do with childhood, societal messages, finances, fears - anything, basically that you can think of that may be inhibiting your ability to get and stay pregnant. It all makes sense on some level but I don't feel completely sold. I do think my fertility problems are biological in nature. Even in the chapter about secondary infertility it's written "Many of my clients who have been able to identify and resolve their issues have broken through emotional barriers to have additional children; others have come to terms with not having another child, have adopted, or feel satisfied with the child they already have." Well hello hasn't the author just listed all the options us SI's have? Nothing new there, I don't think.

Yeah I'm angry today. Angry with God. In my heart I feel it is such a long shot conceiving another biological child. I feel like something hasn't been picked up with my case. "They've" always declared I could conceive with one ovary but then at the same time I was told I didn't have much of a window to do that in. Have I missed the boat? Am I in peri-menopause? And if so, can't someone figure that out and put an end to this? God, just let me go - let me move on from this SIF hell if there is no-where else for me to go.


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