Over the last couple of weeks I have caught up with quite a few friends here in Nelson. It has been very good for me to get out of the house, and out of my head, catching up with friends while making the most of a gorgeous Nelson Summer. I've had a couple of beach dates - one the other day with the friend who has a daughter the same age as mine, and then another with a friend and her dog. As a family we've met up with other wee families at Summer events such as the Jazzfest and The Teddy's Bears Picnic. I've met friends for coffee alone (is in childless!). And yesterday my daughter and I spent around two and a half hours with friends of ours that currently are living in a caravan between houses. These friends are a generation older than me and just the loveliest couple.
God has been my main man through-out all this but my friends have helped me immensely. I have realised that it isn't even the job of my friends to understand what I'm going through. Some friends here in Nelson have identified with me in all sorts of ways - mainly through their own personal crises, some whom have turned to God, some who haven't. With some friends I haven't even gone there and that has been good for me. The friend with the dog doesn't want kids so it was nice to go out and play on the beach with my daughter and her dog and to just be in the moment, soaking up the rays and enjoying each others company, not even going there.
I mentioned friends no.1. no.2 and no.3 many weeks ago in a post to make the point that these three friends, the friends I felt emotionally closest to and have a long history with, were on very different paths and at the time I felt very distanced from them all. They all live out of Nelson. To recap friend no.1 is newly pregnant with her second child, friend no .2 is fighting primary infertility and friend no.3 is getting married in a couple of months. Today it doesn't matter that we are all on different paths. Finding my women-friends-in-the-same-boat on Dailystrength has fulfilled a huge desire to be understood. I don't feel as though I need to try to explain what secondary infertility is about to everyone else anymore. This blog gives me a place to do that and if people want to know about it, they'll read about it.
Tonight I fly off to Wellington for the weekend (!) to see friend no. 3. It's her hens party and we're spending a day and a night celebrating it. It's a big deal for me as it will be the first time I'd have spent a whole weekend apart from my daughter and I'm flying away, on a plane, to the North Island! It's only a half hour trip, but it's a milestone for me!
Anyway, I'm very much looking forward to it and I know it'll be good for me. My daughter has been very unsettled during the day and especially at nights lately, not wanting me out of her sight. My husband usually does the bed-time routine but lately our daughter has been firm on "Mummy, bed!!" So it will be good for them too to re-bond without me around.
To any friends reading this: thanks for your friendship. You've helped me so much just by being there. :)
Catch you in a couple of days!
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