This morning I woke up feeling truly blessed. How nice it is to feel gratitude around something as special as a wedding anniversary. I feel quite proud of our four years of married life together. We actually met three years before we married but for us tying the knot certainly did move things to a new level. To those on the outside, if material gain and prosperity are seen to be indicators of success; it might seem we don't have much at all. Sometimes I too can be swayed by that perspective since we don't have the 2.1 kids or the house. But we have so much more than all that. We have our precious daughter who we both love so much and a loving home that we've created that many people feel comfortable in. We are very happy living a simple life so the vibe is pretty laid-back around here.
I heard recently in a sermon that God wants us to grow spiritually into our earthly bodies. I do believe that to be true - as time goes on it is affirmed more and more that my life is a spiritual journey and all this other stuff doesn't matter. One of the main reasons I married my husband is because he shares that belief.
As layers of the proverbial onion are stripped away as I grapple with infertility, I feel more like a child of God than ever. I feel like I'm treading water most days and every now and then I come up for air. And when I do it's like all the blessings in my life shine more brightly somehow, I feel more connected with the human race on a very deep level and I find joy in the simplest of things. I want to go out and be involved in life, to participate and to celebrate life. Then another wave comes along and I am pushed under for a bit again.
But today I am up for air.
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