My Gap Years

It has been common practice for young people in some Western countries to take a year off between secondary and tertiary education for quite some time. This is known as a "A gap year". Now gap years are being taken by the young and old in all sorts of ways, at any life-stage. It's a time to go out into the world and have a go at doing some other things such as travelling, volunteering, anything.

I can only hope that I am in my gap year/s of motherhood. Although I am very much out there as a Mum, I feel as though motherhood has been interrupted. My family doesn't feel complete and won't do until there is an end to all this.

So in the meantime, as I appreciate I'm between two worlds, I have no choice but to treat this as if 2008 is my second gap year. I can advance my life in small ways which I'm working on doing over the next three months (through joining a gym, getting a part-time job, and having some creative goals) yet because I have one foot in with the Mums-of-one crowd and one trying to climb over the fence to join the Mums-of-two crowd, I am not ready or in a good space to make big life changes at this point. Because I could get pregnant. And who knows when that might be - weeks, months, or another year from now?

I am in a holding pattern/limbo land/a standstill. It is frustrating at the best of times, to put it mildly. However, I do have the opportunity to do some things back there in the world outside of motherhood that pregnant women and Mums-of-two wouldn't, even if it is on a small scale. So if I see motherhood, interrupted, as the opportunity to catch my breath, then it really isn't so bad.

I'm reminded that this is where my spiritual growth comes in. There is nothing "big" to distract myself from me right now. I am essentially the duck who is stuck in the muck. (a line from my daughter's favourite book at the moment!)