Rediscovering Me

What I've realised lately as my daughter approaches three and my time is slowly freeing up again, is I that really did lose parts of myself to motherhood. Backed by my psychology and education degree as well as personal philosophies, I have always strongly believed that the first three years of a child's life are the most important. This is the time when crucial emotional bonds are formed with the parents and hence the child's basic emotional foundations are built. So I had no problem throwing myself into motherhood, even if it meant giving up aspects of myself. I was aware that I needed to allow some space for me all along even if it was in very small doses. This came in the form of a casual job, night classes and childless coffees with friends every now and then.

As I plummeted to my low recently, it was clear I'd lost more of me than I'd originally thought. It seems part of my journey with secondary infertility has been about rediscovering me. When I registered with Dailystrength and Facebook over the last few months, I felt I had nothing to write about me. That's when I realised I was in trouble.

Perhaps it is a good thing that I cease the opportunity to work on self-love all over again. If a babe was on the way, I'm pretty sure my focus would be on the new life that was growing inside me. But there is nothing to distract me from myself, so it's time to get reacquainted with me.

It has been quite exciting over the last few days just putting some new things into my daily routine to make sure a big part of my day is about meeting my own needs, and not just my daughter's.

My new daily goals are :
to have a spirulana smoothie to keep my energy levels up
to exercise daily
to do something nice for me such listening to a CD of my choice, taking a bath
to start my bedtime routine at 9pm
to read my daily inspirational readings
to talk to someone if I need to
to limit my time on-line

So far so good with the above goals, which I am only about three days into, by the way! The hardest goal is getting to bed earlier. I've realised I've been going to bed way too late for far too long. My daughter is still wakeful and because of this I've been napping when she does for quite some time. However all this has done is extend out my bedtime at night. I take a while to unwind, especially with my high (emotional) stress levels of late. So I've realised I need a bedtime routine just like my daughter! I certainly am not the type who can plop into bed and then flick the light off (like my husband can!)

It feels good to have some daily goals to adhere to. I've probably used most of the strategies on my list regularly for some time, but it's good to be mindful of them all over again. I also have been doing a gratitude list every morning which is quite ingrained, as well as a small night-time journal entry.

I have some other goals for the next three months too that will give me a temporary focus. At least it feels like something is moving, even if it's the way in which I manage my day.