You wouldn't have that though, would you?

I went to the Dr this afternoon to check out my sore throat/ears and my toe - as it's a bit "wobbly" and it's been two weeks since I hurt it.

I had a different Dr (as mine only works mornings) and she reckoned my sore throat and ears have nothing to do with Provera. However on a google search I found many women who'd had those side effects. Essentially it's a virus which the Dr agreed with. I have fluid in one ear and my glands are up. I said to my husband it makes sense to me that my glands could be playing up given all the synthetic hormones racing around in my body right now. The trouble is my gyno doesn't take direct calls, and the surgery isn't open much during the week so I thought it was best going via my GP. Anyway, I've been cleared for flying and that was my main concern.

I'm going in to get an x-ray on my toe first thing in the morning as the Dr thought it was a bit of a concern that there isn't much movement there. It just sits there kind of limp-like. I joked to my husband tonight that I got an appointment at radiology within 24 hours for my toe whereas I had to wait several weeks for an ultrasound scan for my cyst!

Today has been a bit of a tough day as far as Mum-of-twos (MOTs) goes. A Mum from Playgroup had obviously had her second child as her bump had disappeared. I braced myself for delivering the niceties, even though a part of me didn't want to go there. But I had to acknowledge her addition at some point, I just didn't particularly want to do it today.

I took my daughter to the park and beach before the Dr's today. She was absolutely fascinated by a crawling baby. And as rough as she can be, she did stand rather protectively next to this little baby boy and another little baby girl as they scrambled around the playground. As much as I try to tell myself she'll be fine if she ends up being an only child, I do feel she will be cheated in so many ways.

At the Dr's I saw a former Mum from Playgroup with her two children (three and around eighteen months) in the waiting room. We had a wee chat about Kindy, the dropping of naps and keeping three year olds entertained. She told me her two were starting to play really well together, for twenty minutes at a time. Then she looked at me and said You wouldn't have that though, would you? somewhat sympathetically. She doesn't know my predicament so I guess it was just an obvious comment. Thanks for the reminder, I thought to myself.

I have felt the Green-eyed Monster today (in case you hadn't guessed!). Have my happy pills worn off?! I am angry today - it just seems like such a normal thing for a woman to do - to fall pregnant and have a baby. It shouldn't be so complicated. I had a wee weep over the dishes tonight and realised a lot of my fear is coming up around the Clomid. I feel a lot is impinging on it, and it might not work...

Meanwhile the Provera seems to have started things moving a bit as I have had a wee bit of spotting. I feel a bit obsessive checking to see what's transpiring quite frequently, but I am after all waiting for my long lost Aunt - you know the one; Aunt Flo.