I finished reading Julia Indichova's second book last night: The Fertile Female. How the Power of Longing for a Child Can Save Your Life and Change the World. It was a good read but I'm kind of glad to be at the end of it all.
The next book I'm going to read is going to be fiction and totally unrelated to baby-making. I feel like I need a bit of time to digest Julia's book and what I may or may not apply from it. I certainly agree with her overall philosophy about tuning into me and where I need to go with things. I'm not sure I want to radically change my diet though. I did my own diet overhaul anyway almost two years ago in which I eliminated caffeine and sugar. I have the odd sugary treat - mainly in the form of home-baked cooking but no longer eat chocolate biscuits etc at night.
I am up for the internal work that I clearly need to do (and have started doing). And I do agree with Julia that Yoga is highly beneficial. I certainly feel stronger and more energised when I do the poses. I might look into doing one or two Yoga poses at home on a daily basis as well that match where I'm at.
I'm back to taking it all ODAT (one day at a time). It's not the time to let go of my baby wishes. There is no need to force myself to make a decision on whether I should continue what feels mainly like a hopeless quest or not. At some point things will become clearer and perhaps I'll be able to make a decision then.
For now I'm just going to do whatever I need to do to keep me sane and happy. If that means keeping my life quite small and focused on my basic needs then be it. I'm not going to panic anymore (or will try not to!) that my life isn't progressing much. I have been moving within SIF even if it feels so painfully slow most weeks. Perhaps it's time I really embraced this opportunity for emotional and spiritual growth.
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