Yesterday the guy from Adoption Services Nelson called me back and we had a good chat. My husband and I have an appointment next Thursday with him - an informal meeting - while our daughter is in Kindy.
He didn't really tell me anything I didn't know - that I hadn't found out already on the internet. Yet it was really good to talk to "an expert" as such in this field. He said the whole getting ready for adoption process takes six months to a year. You have to get through all that before writing a 10-12 page profile about your family. The birth families have certain attributes they are looking for with the adoptive families and they are given a pool of profiles that match what they are after. It is from this pool that they pick the family that appeals to them the most.
There are educational sessions about adoption that are part of the process and they are in the middle of one right now. The next one is April/May next year. I feel incredibly patient about the whole process, however. I don't seem to have the urgency I did when TTC. I don't have that time-is-running-out feeling at all. At this stage if we become adoptive parents there is going to be at least a four and a half/five year plus gap between siblings but that's okay with me.
Apparently there are around three hundred applicants in New Zealand for adoption which I didn't think was very high. The guy at Adoption Services said around eighty-something children are adopted annually. The odds aren't too bad, I don't think. Apparently three adoptions have occurred in Nelson recently. I feel pretty positive about our chances but at the same time would only want the best for the adoptive children out there so understand if we don't match the (complete) attributes any birth families are looking for.
Yesterday I looked after two three and a half year olds. My MOT friend up the road's husband is away for a few weeks so I offered to give her a break so she had just one child for most of the day. The girls really enjoyed biking down to Kindy together with their back-packs on - it was very cute!
I was on Parent Help at Kindy too. A MOTH-to-be dropped off some fruit in the fruit basket when I was in the kitchen. I know her from the Music sessions I used to take my daughter to. I asked her how she was and she groaned and complained how she was pregnant with her third child, and said it was unplanned and she'd only wanted two children! She said "How am I going to cope with THREE?" To which I said "It'll be fun!" She said she was getting used to the idea. Hmmm.
It seems so ironic doesn't it that babies are born to parents who didn't plan for them while some couples/parents don't always get the very much planned for and wanted babies. That's one of God's little mysteries I guess. It's all about God's Will for me at this stage. I don't have to sweat the small stuff and try to figure out why things don't make sense. I certainly have a lot more acceptance and serenity doing it this way.
1 comment:
I'm very happy you've found happiness in what your path is. I agree with your postings lately. Everyone's journey is different and we can't tell others to move on or move in this direction or that. We need to have our inner being tell us what direction we feel happy and fulfilled going in.
Lots of luck with the adoption path!
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