A MOT for a day

I've looked after my MOT neighbours three year old alongside my daughter twice this week. Monday they had a playdate that lasted around two and a half hours. It went really well as the girls hadn't seen each other for around a month and they had a ball. Yesterday I picked up my daughters friend as it was pouring with rain, and took them both to Playgroup. We stayed for about an hour and a half and then hung around here for another three hours. It felt good to be able to help out my MOT friend who is going through a devastating time looking after her terminally ill mother. I also enjoyed it. It just feels so natural, so right.

I cannot explain what it is exactly, but whenever I am in sole charge of two children, whether it be a minute or two, or a few hours, I feel so at peace. It's like a part of me is satisfied briefly with two kids under my wings. Like yesterday I loved driving the two girls to Playgroup and back and supervising them both at Playgroup. I enjoyed getting lunch for the two girls and watching them sitting down together to eat it.

It's not all a bed of roses of course looking after two children. But it does give me an insight into what I'm missing as a wannabe MOT and confirmation that this is what I want for our family. Two preschoolers play with each other quite well. They still need guidance from time to time, reassurance from their care-giver and space from one another. So although it was a break on one hand having two children in the house as they could entertain each other, it was still tiring as they did have their moments of disagreeing on what song to listen to, fighting over toys, and just wanting to do their own thing.

I have been a "pretend" MOT before. I nannied for a couple of years in Vancouver for a family of four. The boy was four years old, the girl eight months old when I started looking after them. I've nannied for other families too and have been a camp counsellor for two Summers in the USA. I've also got a degree in Psychology and Education. Where I'm going with this is I feel my CV is well and truly sufficient for MOT status. Every now and then it feels like I have to prove to both myself and God, that I am a worthy MOT candidate. Somehow as a SI it feels as though I have to try a little harder.

Friend no.2's third IVF failed. I am so devastated for her - and scared. It is so not fair. She doesn't deserve this. I am praying for a small miracle for her at this time.