Took my last prenatal vitamin yesterday

I'm a little confused as to what I should be doing right now now that I'm somewhere between being properly diagnosed with ovarian failure and half-way through a cycle after round three of Clomid. (day 16 today). My temperature is so very low right now; it is obvious (to me) that I am in another annovulatory cycle.

I phoned my gyno surgery yesterday and asked that my gyno call me which he is due to do after lunch today. I really need to talk to him to discuss where I'm at. I was given an unofficial ovarian failure diagnosis via a blood report I received on Saturday in the mail, my Dr didn't want to elaborate too much on the diagnosis when I talked to her on Monday and wanted to do another lot of blood tests before confirming things. She plans to write to my gyno once the second lot of bloods are in.

From where I stand it seems absolutely ridiculous to continue with the Clomid. I have another day 21 progesterone test to do next Wednesday to check whether I ovulated or not. It may sound incredibly negative; but I know I haven't. I just know it. My prenatal vitamins ran out yesterday and it doesn't feel right buying any more. Don't worry people, if I thought there was any chance I could get pregnant then I would continue with them. Bascially TTC was a huge joke this cycle anyway as I have been too much of a mess to go there this week and my husband has been sick with a stomach bug! I have let go of TTC for now. Neither of us are in the right emotional or physical space to do so.

I am sure as hell hoping that my gyno will deliver some encouraging news today yet at the same time I know in my heart that this is it for me. I so don't want it to be and would do anything to turn around my situation. But I am completely and utterly powerless.

It has been a very emotional week with lots of tears and I've been so very tired. I've just been very kind to myself and have been taking it easy. I just really want this to all be over even though it is breaking my heart exiting the fertility race.

I opened my emails this morning to hear that a friend who has been struggling with primary infertility is pregnant with twins via IVF. I am rapt for her and shed some tears for her - as she's been through so much to get here. I also shed some tears for me as I am just so very, very sad that another pregnancy is so very unlikely at this point for me.