It was my fourth counseling session in about two months tonight. It went well and I felt I had gotten to a point where I was happy to stop the sessions. In the two months I went to counseling, The World Of IF went from being just that - my world - to becoming just part of my world. Although I know I will continue to get triggered/have feelings/bad days/tears etc around IF, I feel that I have some perspective now that life goes on - namely, my life. I may pick up counseling again later around some issues that have come up, separate to IF. But for now I feel I have sorted through quite a lot of emotional terrain.
I'm just so tired so early in the evenings these days. I've still not adjusted to the end of daylight saving, I don't think. But it has been nice putting on the electric blanket and going to bed early. Yesterday I bought my daughter some new sneakers and slippers and myself some slippers. I am such a Nana as after being caught in the rain yesterday in town, all I wanted to do was get home and put on my new fluffy pink slippers!
I was on morning tea at Playgroup today so it was a morning of baking and peeling and cutting several carrots. For those regular readers you may remember that we've had some behavioural issues with our daughter so I've had to "shadow" her in all social situations for around two months. However today because I was on morning tea, I gave her a much wider berth. I think she's getting there. She was absolutely fine. I still personally believe because she's an only-child she doesn't have siblings to squabble with so tests the water a lot socially with other kids. I was on morning tea with a MOTH who agreed with that theory, while complaining about sibling rivalry. For this SI, the sound of siblings squabbling in my home would be like music to my ears!
Today I didn't feel so bitter when surrounded by all the MOTs, MOTHs and MOFs. I'm always aware of my SI status, of course, but somehow it didn't sting so much. My neighbours eight month old daughter reached out to me today which made me melt. I like to think we have a special wee bond. It is nice that my neighbour entrusts me with her daughters and that I get frequent baby-hugs.
I tried a spinning class (cycling) last night at the gym. It was hard but I enjoyed it and will make spinning part of my weekly gym programme. I have become quite the gym bunny which has surprised me as I haven't been really into the gym scene for a long time. It's given me a focus - a positive one and it's been great to be reunited with an aspect of my pre-Mummy self.
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