A New Compassion

Yesterday at work I was chatting to a customer who mentioned her daughter had triplets that were turning eight that day. The usual comments were passed around having that many children at once. Then out of the blue she said "IVF." Instead of having nothing to say like I might have in my pre-IF days, I was able to say "Good on her." In the nod that followed I could see that even though these three children were now eight years old, all that it had taken to get them here was not forgotten by their grandmother. "It's not easy, is it?" I smiled at her and when she nodded again, with strong emotions in her eyes, I knew that she had received some compassion from me. I guess that's something isn't it. My experience with IF has given me a new compassion not just for infertiles but for those affected by the ride.

IF does impact friends and families of the infertile and can be destructive if not monitored carefully. There doesn't seem to be a graceful way to live with IF as it is filled with many bumps along the way which unfortunately often our nearest and dearest feel, (not obviously in the same way as us), but they still feel all the same.

Several families of four came into work yesterday. As always I felt a pang when I saw siblings coming in together with their Mums and Dads, but it didn't tear me apart. I think with my surgery coming up in just over two weeks, a lot of my IF baggage has been pushed aside. I just want to keep healthy and fit so I'm in the best possible shape both physically and emotionally so I'll have a speedy recovery - or at least, will bounce back relatively easily. I've got three weeks off work but may need more - I will be keeping in touch with them around that.

I had a massage last night which was (approximately) my 19th month anniversary of TTC. It was bliss and I'm really going to try to have massages more regularly. It seems that now is a time of self-care and not much else. It's certainly a time of trusting once again that God has it all sorted and all I need to do is follow His lead.