Hang in there!

I am still managing to remain in this space where I have handed my baby dreams over to the God of my understanding and I'm therefore able to be a lot more present in my life. It is so much more peaceful this way. There seems to be less angst in my day - even though I still have pangs of longing that can happen any time, any place. All part of being an SI, of course.

Yesterday three things fell into place around my SIF footwork:
1. I received a phone-call first thing to say that my script for Provera was ready from my Dr. I am picking that up from the local pharmacy today.
2. The Pre-seed lubricant arrived via courier post - hand delivered to my door! I opened it up to find a little packet of sparkles which came with a note which says "This baby dust is special and it's being sent to you hoping it will help your fondest dreams come true." It almost bought a tear to my eye!
3. A confirmation note arrived in the mail for the free fertility evening next Wednesday with Fertility Associates.

I feel as though God has been telling me to just hang in there! these last couple of days. To just trust that He has it sorted. And I do trust that God has a big hand in all this. I'm not saying a baby is guaranteed at the end of it all. Just that, for whatever reason, I am exactly where I'm meant to be in my life right now. SIF is an experience I'm meant to be having and it isn't going to last forever.

But no matter how hard I try to detach myself from SIF, it manages to bite me in the butt several times a week, at least. On Sunday at work a family of four came in and they wanted to get a ceramic done of their second child's hand-print on a mug - just like they did with their first. The mug they wanted to use wasn't in stock so they're coming in at a later date to do it. I have to admit I was kind of relieved as I would have had to assist in helping them with placing their second childs hand on the mug and although I would have coped, it would have been just a little rough on the old heart-strings.

Yesterday a MOT client phoned me about a graphic design freelance job. My daughter had a friend around and was having a ball - the two of them played really well for around two and a half hours. I mentioned to this MOT that it was a lot easier having a playmate around to keep my daughter entertained. She responded by telling me how well her two children play together now that her youngest is fourteen months old. Yeah, I'm sure, I thought.

It makes me happy to see my daughter socialising happily with other kids. I have to treat her as an only child, and that means ensuring she does have the opportunity to play with kids both in a group and one-on-one. Because of our ops in May and then several bugs in the family in June, my daughter hasn't had as many one-on-one playdates as she usually would.

I have planned quite a social week for my daughter this week. Yesterday she had one of her very good friends around and had a blast. I loved looking after the two girls; it was like being a wannabe MOT for a couple of hours! Today I'm taking her to a casual gymnastics class, which she hasn't been to for a year, followed by a playdate with a boy her age. Then tomorrow we're going to gymnastics for a second time as another one of her friends has invited us to a free end-of-term-bring-a-friend-class. My daughter will love it - and after that we're going for an early lunch together. Thursday I'm taking my daughter's friend (the same one that was here yesterday) to Playgroup as well as my daughter - her Mum is the MOT whose Mum is terminally ill. The two girls haven't seen much of each other the last month or so and have both been missing their playdates so it's so nice to see them together again. Friday I'm taking my daughter to Music as per usual.

I had a lovely chat with friend no. 2 on Sunday. Fingers and toes crossed as she goes through IVF for the third time. I really hope it works out for her. I was able to disclose to her that I was cutting down contact with MOTs by dropping one Playgroup session and she revealed how hard it was for her and husband now that most of their friends were parents. It's not often we can share in great depth where we are within our IF battles, but I am always glad when we can.